
Old Springs Pike Giveaway: Write the Dialogue
September 6, 2007September must translate to ‘giveaway month on G23’ because I’m letting the dogs out for another giveaway! This one is not only super fun to do, but the prizes are super fantastic.

Are you a fan of Old Springs Pike? If so, you’re gonna love this contest! Let’s just cut to the chase—what’s at stake? Well first off, there won’t be one winner, but in fact, two! Each of the winners will receive:
an official Old Springs Pike t-shirt
a demo CD signed by the band members; James Cleare, Heather Robb, James Smith, and Johnny Gallagher
a brand spankin’ new, limited edition poster
a VIP guest list pass to the Joe’s Pub gig on October 8th
Wow, amazing, right? The OSP shirt is a black, medium sized, cotton shirt. The signed demo CD includes the songs “Still Sixteen,” “The Great Escape,” and “Drowning in Sobriety”. The third prize, the limited edition poster, is my personal favorite. Last week, I had the honor and pleasure of photographing the band for an afternoon. It was a hoot, to say the least. I’ve got hundreds of photographs to create some awesome posters. So for right now, there isn’t a concrete poster image to show you, but in the cropped screenshot above, you’ll notice an idea for one (complete with neon stick figures). The poster isn’t going to be huge (or is it?) but it will be at least 11”x17”. And the final prize kicks ass in that each winner will be put on the OSP guest list for the Joe’s Pub gig on October 8th at 11:30pm. Yes, that’s right, you get to see the show for free!
(The October 8th gig is super recent news—even I don’t have a ticket! But c’mon now, any diehard fan would definitely have a ticket for the other October 29th gig, right??)

Okay, on to the actual contest and rules! Okay, first off, you have to be over 21 to enter. Just kidding! In fact, this contest is only for people under 21! Just kidding, again! Man, I’m loling here.
But for real no joking, check out the comic below:

Your mission for this contest, if you choose to accept it, is to fill in the bubbles above. Starting right now, September 6th, all you have to do is leave a comment on this blog post in the following format:
James:___________________
Heather:_________________
Smith:___________________
Johnny:__________________
Here’s an example:
James: Jeff, you’re too cool for having this contest!
Heather: Yeah, Jeff, you’re too cool, will you have my babies?
Smith: Sorry, Heather, Jeff promised he’d have my babies first.
Johnny: Sorry guys, Jeff already had my babies.
Very easy, right? Keep it clean and family fun—but really, anything goes. If I think it’s inappropriate, too vulgar, or simply not written in the format stated above, then honestly, I’ll just delete the comment. You can enter as many times as you’d like. Pretty much the funniest comments will win, or maybe the most thought provoking, or maybe the most tear jerking… Who knows! Make it amazing and at the end of the month, the contest will end and then me and my posse will choose the top two greatest dialogues from the bunch and announce the winner the first week of October.
Good luck and have fun!
James:What exactly is a Tony award ?
Heather:Yeah theres not even anyone in the band named Tony.
Smith:Duh, it’s short for ANTHONY AWARD!
Johnny:Gee whiz, it’s just a day job, can we drop it please?
by amishcomic September 6th, 2007 at 12:59 pm
James: But seriously guys, this one time, at band camp….
Heather: Is that what I think it is?
Smith: So then I was like, maybe I will get a haircut, but then I was like, but the chicks like it shaggy
Johnny: I appear to have something in my eye…
Holy crap! The stakes just got totally higher! At 7:00 PM today, September 6th, the prize package got even bigger with the addition of two VIP guest list passes to the October 8th gig at Joe’s Pub in NYC!
James: so guys, for the show tonight, do you think i should wear the shamu shirt with the yellow suspenders, the shamu shirt with the blue suspenders, or the shamu shirt with the black suspenders?
Heather: hmm well im not sure about the suspenders, but i deffinitely think the shamu shirt is the best choice…
Smith: yeah, the shamu shirt’s a classic, but i really think you should go with the shamu shirt…
Johnny: *shakes head* For some reason i feel like im in a really bad 90’s girl band movie….
… that was so bad. w/e ill try again later. haha.
Great contest btw. I love it.
And your photography is amazing. All of the new OSP pictures are delicious.
James:Haha look at James in the camera…He’s such a loser.
Heather: How could you say that?
Smith:You know, I work hard, try the make the best of things and here you are putting me down like-
Johnny:I could really go for some Jamba Juice right now.
James:Hey I’m going commando right now!!
Heather:So cold…so very cold
Smith:You know, we didn’t really need that information.
Johnny:I always take extra procaution and wear 2 pairs!
James: I say, I say: My dog’s got no nose.
Heather: Your dog’s got no nose?
Smith: How does he smell?
Johnny: Terrible! (Thank you, thank you, I’m ‘ere all week)
James: I say, I say: My father chews hammers in a circus.
Heather: Your father chews hammers in a circus?
Smith: Is he a professional?
Johnny: No, ‘es an ‘ammer chewer. The old ones are the best.
Cleare– Fine, fine laugh it up guys. Your all just jealous you can’t pull off suspenders like i can.
Heather–Yeahh ok James keep tellin yourself that, ok now what “look” should we go for in this shot?
Smith– I feel like it needs to be something confident, strong yet sultry.
Gallagher–Heyy guys–you ever wonder why you drive on parkways and park on driveways?
James:so who’s this guy taking pictures of us?
Heather:I’m not too sure, but he’s scaring me.
Smith: maybe if we don’t look at him he’ll go away.
Johnny: here’s my clint eastwood face..go ahead, take more pictures.
James: This totally reminds me of the time I almost got a tatoo of Shamu!
Heather: Wait, I’ve never seen any Shamu tatoo.
Smith: Yeah, I don’t know where he would have put it. I mean, that thing is huge.
Johnny: That’s what she said!
Cleare: Cute smile, James.(very sarcastically)
Heather: I actually liked his smile.
Smith: I’m sorry, are you dissing my smile?… Better question, did I just say “dissing”?
Johnny: I’m not positive, but I’m pretty sure I haven’t heard the word “dissing” in over ten years… Embarrassed?
James: Hey there completely surprising photographer out of nowhere! If I knew it was class picture day I would’ve put on a tie too!
Heather: Speaking of class pictures, remember in like kindergarten you learned that thing with your hands….here is the church…
Smith: …here is the steeple…steeple steeple
Johnny: Oh Smith – we have to bring out your secret weapon – do your Tyra Banks face…it looks like it’s just the three of us entertaining random camera guy now. James fell asleep. there’s a dollar in my pocket!
James: Heather, your hand is on my penis.
Heather: (thinking) Johnny don’t say dog-skin.
Smith: (thinking) Johnny don’t say dog skin.
Johnny: Dog-skin!
James: ..Hey! Remember that time Heather’s dress almost fell down at Ars Nova…
Heather: NO.
James:..Vaguely..
Johnny: Oh yes. I remember. Vividly.
James: What was that thing you said at The Knitting Factory…?
Heather:..erm.. Hello……..
James: KNITTERS!
Johnny: Hmmm, that went over smoothly.
James:Oh hey! Guess what I just heard. Redheads named James are considered one hundred times sexier than brunettes of the same name.
Heather: *muttering to herself* Okay, Heather, you have to get it right this time…Joseph Gordon Levitt was in Angels in the Outfield, not Angels in America…
Smith:Okay, so you’re saying that redheads are sexier than brunettes? That can’t be right, this is my sexy face. I think your information is faulty. Let’s go ask Jeeves.
Johnny:Man, I’m pretty sure no one has “asked Jeeves” anything in ten years.
James:Dammit Heather, look at the camera!
Heather:I heard that everytime you get your picture taken you lose part of your soul.
Smith:Well I sold my soul to the devil years ago.
Johnny: Yeah, but he quickly returned it…twas not worthy.
James: Holy Monkey! Are we on COPS again?!?!
Heather: Okay, we’ll scatter on three. One…
Smith: Two…
Johnny: THREE! “Woo!! Hot pants! Hey Hot Pants! uh! Smokin’ hot pants! Smokin’ that – Hot Pants!…
See the girl over there with the hot pants on uh! She can do the Funky Broadway all night long! Hot Pants!!”
James: Okay stop me if you’ve heard this one. A naked blonde walks into a bar with a poodle under one arm and a 2 foot salami under the other. She lays the poodle on the table and the bartender says “I suppose you won’t be needing a drink.” The naked lady says…
Heather: Yeah, you got that from the movie… “Breakfast at Tiffany’s”
Smith: You mean “The Breakfast CLUB.”
Johnny: Wait, wait, wait, so what does the naked lady say?!
James: Hey have you seen that SNL skit with Maya Rudolph?
Heather: Oh yea, you mean the one where she is singing the National Anthem?
Smith: Da What?!
Johnny:B to the R to the A to the V to the EEEEEEEEEEE!!!!
James Cleare: Did you guys hear that Jeff from Gus23: The Blog is holding a contest using OSP pics?
Heather: Wow. That’s cool. I think I want to do a caption too.
James Smith: Yeah, we need to come up with a great joke or something. What do you think Johnny?
Johnny: I want pie.
James: I think it’s safe to say that we’re the best live act in NY!
Heather: True that…
Smith: Yes, that sounds accurate.
Johnny: I love you all (cries to self.)
James: Hey remember when John Norris interviewed us for MTV?
Heather: Yeah what was up with his hair?
Smith: He looked like he was trying to be Chuck Norris…
Johnny: Wouldn’t you…Chuck Norris once roundhouse kicked someone so hard that his foot broke the speed of light, went back in time, and killed Amelia Earhart while she was flying over the Pacific Ocean.
James: Hey guys, how can you tell which one is Ronald McDonald at the nudist colony?
Heather: Umm, I don’t know…wait, I think I’ve heard this joke before!
James: Is this joke too risque?
Johnny: He’s the one with sesame seeds on his buns! Tee hee!
James: Hey guys, what did the farmer say when he lost his tractor?
Heather: Umm, I don’t know…wait, I think I’ve heard this joke before!
James: Do you guys know any farmers?
Johnny: He said “Where’s my tractor?” Tee hee!
James: I’m a little teapot
Heather: short and stout?
James: um dude, you’re not short or stout!!!!
Johnny: No, but it would sure be fun to tip him over (j/k)